Quite often relationship issues show up among family members. Often parental/child issues affect us in our other relationships. There is a saying that “anything unresolved with our parents or siblings will come up in our lives to be healed.”
The variations on the issues are quite broad, but there are often bottom lines that make them similar and consistent. The steps are usually as follows:
Awareness - Acknowledgement - Willingness to let go - Using tools to “unhook” the destructive/undesirable patterns - Forgiveness - and the Rebuilding of a healthy positive relationship.
I have seen international corporate vice presidents verbally spar as they vied for the attention of their boss, the president of the division, as if they were two adolescent boys battling for their fathers’ attention and respect. These behaviors are often unknown, but to the trained eye, it is easy to spot and often very possible to remedy.
Family dynamics are the result of what we learn and believe when we are very young.
Many aspects are good, productive and such that we want to value and keep them as a part of us. Other aspects no longer serve us, and many in fact cause pain and dysfunction.
With the professional support, it becomes clear how to sort these aspects out, strengthen what is good, and rework what is not.
Here is what some others have said about Family Counseling with Ardyth:
My younger stepbrother had worked for me in my Construction Company several years back. We hit up against power struggles constantly. He eventually left the job and went on to a successful career in sales, but resentment and residual unspoken conflict remained between us. We had both been to Ardyth for individual counseling. She suggested we come to her together to see if we could heal our past issues. In just ONE session, we cleared the decks. We each aired our feelings, resentments, judgments, and unfinished business about the past and each other. Next, we forgave each other, deeply from our hearts. We were able to acknowledge our love and respect for one another and start anew as good friends.
-Peter and Tom Westerly
My father drank. I was afraid of him. Often we would not know what would set him off. I would step in and take the brunt of his verbal attacks and sometimes his physical abuse to protect my younger siblings. Until I met Ardyth, even at age 50 I would tremble if my boss gave me even constructive input. I kept choosing relationships with men who drink. I could not find my self-worth. At times, I even thought of suicide. I lived with depression and emotional pain much of the time. After a handful of sessions, Ardyth helped me to see the connections to my past, taught me tools to use to bring me out of the fear and doubt and finally to learn who I really am without the baggage of my past. I know my work continues and I am forever grateful to have found Ardyth to support me. -Emily Williams
I grew up the south. My mother was ever critical of me, always correcting. I learned to believe that I was never good enough, could not do things right and could never please the one I loved and needed the most. Tough set of beliefs. I learned tapping and breathwork from Ardyth. Working with her and these tools has set me free. I like me now! I am good enough and many people in my life now respect me, and most importantly, I respect myself! -Amber Mason
I am Asian American. It is the norm in my culture that much is expected of me… expectations and assumptions that I do not agree with or want on my plate. I am learning to make my own choices without guilt or obligation, at the same time loving and honoring the elders in my family. My self-esteem is getting stronger. My communication skills are much better. I can talk to my father and my grandmother now and they actually hear me! This a good thing! -Kimberly Chung