“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.”
"We met Ardyth when our marriage hit the wall and divorce knocked on the only door in that wall. Ardyth taught us how to put everything back in neutral and rediscover our love for each other. With her techniques, she eliminated our anger and put everything in toï¿½perspective. We relearned how to treat each other as partners and lovers and not as enemies. We also really liked that her sessions came to a natural stopping point and did not stop just because the time was up. We will definitely work with her again and refer her to anybody who needs to make any life changing decisions." --Susanne & James Blakey
"Counselors attend to most normal social, cultural, and developmental issues as well as the problems associated with physical, emotional, and mental issues. Counseling is a meeting between coach and client in which creative possibilities and productive dialogue occur. Counseling encourages self-help as a resource for positive change. What a good counselor usually does: Listen effectively to what you are saying. Interject when it is useful and appropriate. Facilitate the untangling of thoughts, feelings and worries about a situation. Offer you insight into how you act, think, feel, how you come across and into your personal patterns. Teach, show and help you express your emotions in your own way. Teach, show and help you work out your own solutions to problems. Teach, show and help you accept what cannot be changed. Teach, show, help, and support you and your relationships. Use a variety of techniques to help you explore what is truly important to you."
Quite often relationship issues show up among family members. Often parental/child issues affect us in our other relationships. There is a saying that “anything unresolved with our parents or siblings will come up in our lives to be healed.”
The variations on the issues are quite broad, but there are often bottom lines that make them similar and consistent. The steps are usually as follows:
Awareness - Acknowledgement - Willingness to let go - Using tools to “unhook” the destructive/undesirable patterns - Forgiveness - and the Rebuilding of a healthy positive relationship.
I have seen international corporate vice presidents verbally spar as they vied for the attention of their boss, the president of the division, as if they were two adolescent boys battling for their fathers’ attention and respect. These behaviors are often unknown, but to the trained eye, it is easy to spot and often very possible to remedy.
Family dynamics are the result of what we learn and believe when we are very young.
Many aspects are good, productive and such that we want to value and keep them as a part of us. Other aspects no longer serve us, and many in fact cause pain and dysfunction.
With the professional support, it becomes clear how to sort these aspects out, strengthen what is good, and rework what is not.
Here is what some others have said about Family Counseling with Ardyth:
My younger stepbrother had worked for me in my Construction Company several years back. We hit up against power struggles constantly. He eventually left the job and went on to a successful career in sales, but resentment and residual unspoken conflict remained between us. We had both been to Ardyth for individual counseling. She suggested we come to her together to see if we could heal our past issues. In just ONE session, we cleared the decks. We each aired our feelings, resentments, judgments, and unfinished business about the past and each other. Next, we forgave each other, deeply from our hearts. We were able to acknowledge our love and respect for one another and start anew as good friends.
Peter and Tom Westerly
My father drank. I was afraid of him. Often we would not know what would set him off. I would step in and take the brunt of his verbal attacks and sometimes his physical abuse to protect my younger siblings. Until I met Ardyth, even at age 50 I would tremble if my boss gave me even constructive input. I kept choosing relationships with men who drink. I could not find my self-worth. At times, I even thought of suicide. I lived with depression and emotional pain much of the time. After a handful of sessions, Ardyth helped me to see the connections to my past, taught me tools to use to bring me out of the fear and doubt and finally to learn who I really am without the baggage of my past. I know my work continues and I am forever grateful to have found Ardyth to support me. Emily Williams
I grew up the south. My mother was ever critical of me, always correcting. I learned to believe that I was never good enough, could not do things right and could never please the one I loved and needed the most. Tough set of beliefs. I learned tapping and breathwork from Ardyth. Working with her and these tools has set me free. I like me now! I am good enough and many people in my life now respect me, and most importantly, I respect myself! Amber Mason
I am Asian American. It is the norm in my culture that much is expected of me… expectations and assumptions that I do not agree with or want on my plate. I am learning to make my own choices without guilt or obligation, at the same time loving and honoring the elders in my family. My self-esteem is getting stronger. My communication skills are much better. I can talk to my father and my grandmother now and they actually hear me! This a good thing! Kimberly Chung